As 2013 draws to a close...

I am finding it incredibly hard to believe that this year is almost over. Looking back on everything that has happened, it has definitely been my hardest overall year. A real roller coaster for sure. Here's to hoping 2014 is better!

Also, a side note. I usually use my journals to write these things, but I don't have the one that covers the first few months of the year with me, so events may be sparse...mostly in February and March.

January:

• Brought in the year by myself...in a blanket fort...and I'm fairly certain I fell asleep at like 10:30 haha
• I bought a car! Or, you know, I'm in the process of buying it. It's the first big purchase I've made, but I love that thing :)
• I had a TON of reservations about applying to Pharmacy school. Nerves, I guess.
• Finally finished the cross stitch of Christ I had been working on for years.

February:

• The application deadline for Pharmacy school!
• I turned 21

March:

• Interviewed for a place at ISU's College of Pharmacy
• Got accepted to said College of Pharmacy. Wahoo!

April:

• Was laid off when my company was forced to close its doors.
• Rediscovered my love of reading.
• Welcomed Porter Sheldon Owen to the world on April 5th :)
• And let's face it. April was basically occupied by being depressed about the loss of my job. I found it hard to get out of bed many days. Thankfully that didn't last long.

May:

• Started working at Ed Snell's Pharmacy Shop- the same pharmacy I had been observing at for 2 years
• Called to be the FHE coordinator in my ward.
• Found out that Rachelle was expecting a baby in December!

June:

• Baby sister graduated from high school!
• Was a witness in a court case...which was definitely a new experience. 
• Celebrated Thanksgiving in June! (Cause if there is such a thing as Christmas in July, there should be a Thanksgiving in June, duh)

July:

• Started observation hours at Advanced Isotopes of Idaho (a nuclear pharmacy)
• Also started my community pharmacy hours at Ed Snell's...cause they are awesome like that.
• Lagoon with two of my very best friends!
• And...most of July was filled with sleeping then volunteering then sleeping. 1:30-4:30 in the morning at the Nuke, 9:30-6:30 at Snell's. Sleep in between.

August:

• Began Pharmacy School!
• Finished official observation hours!
• Won a randomly drawn scholarship at White Coat Ceremony :)
• Learned to give flu shots...not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Getting my white coat from Dr. Liday, my advisor.

September:

• Finally got to play floor hockey again!
• My family moved from Soda Springs to Blackfoot. It's nice to have them so much closer to the family!

October:

• Participated in flu shot clinics to get in some experience and hours for school :)
• Began a new cross stitch (Nature's Paradise by Thomas Kinkade).

Here is where I'm currently at on the cross stitch. Over half way done and only been at it for 3 months!

November:

• My stake officially finished indexing 1,000,000 names for the year.
• Gave my first presentation of my pharmacy career.
• Floor hockey again! Wahoo!

December:

• Attended the Forgotten Carols with Sunny, Sarah, Katie, and Amy. It was good to be reunited!
• Finished my first semester of Pharmacy School. Just 7 more to go!    ...eesh
• Baby Samuel Shadrach Owen arrived on the 14th :) So adorable!

I am not going to mince words, 2013 was hard. It beat me down in ways that I have never been before. Don't get me wrong, there were lots of good times. Lots of happy times! But there were so many times that I am just thankful I was able to keep my head above water. 

This year has made me stronger, that's for sure. For that I am grateful, but I can't wait to see what this new year has to offer. 

Happy 2014 everyone!

Learning to Trust

Well everyone, this last week have been one of the scariest and most exciting of my life.

Last Monday I received a letter in the mail from the College of Pharmacy, stating that I have been provisionally accepted into the Doctor of Pharmacy program on the ISU campus, Pocatello site! I have been working at this for a long time, so you can imagine the excitement that filled my life for days and days after the fact!

The very next Monday (April 1st) at around 9:05 I turned in my $500 seat-holding fee. That's when I realized that this was REALLY happening and I was ACTUALLY going to be a pharmacist. Then, at 9:40 I got a call from my manager and got some terrifying news.

Medicaid terminated our credentialing as an agency without notice, so I was not to go in to work that day and possibly not the next day either. The CEO was going to see what he could do and hopefully we would be up and running again in the morning.

Unfortunately, the call saying that I could go back in to work never came. Instead, it was replaced by an apologetic email from Dr. Sommer saying that with much regret we were going to have to close the doors of Seasons of Hope, a company that I have given my all to for two years.

So yesterday, I went and I cleared out all my personal items from my office...the same office that I never actually got around to organizing. Now I'll never have the chance.

I cried as I grabbed the "Grapes of Hope" trophy that I won last week for our company Appetizer cook-off. It was supposed to be a floating trophy. Someone was supposed to win it next month in the Finger Food cook-off.

I cried harder as a co-worker handed me the painting one of our clients had done. It has always been my favorite, capturing every ounce of personality he has. She had asked for it first, but she told me that I could have it because I had worked with him more. It's now hanging in my living room, right where I will be able to see it every day.

But I cried hardest of all as I drove away from that building for the last time. Hugs were given as well as promises to stay in touch. These people had become my family...teasing me when I forgot to attach a spreadsheet to an email, teasing me when even the slightest edge of criticism wormed its way into an email, and letting me know that my future is bright. They supported me whole-heartedly in everything I did!

I have heard numerous times from others that I was, "going to have to at least cut back hours in the fall anyway". But that's not the point!

The point is that this is NOT the way things should happen! No one should be blind-sided this way. There are over 100 of us out of work now, 100 of us feeling this same empty what-do-I-do-now feeling.

And this is where trust comes in. I have been telling myself since the beginning of this trial that I wasn't going to let myself be defeated, but still somewhere deep down in my gut there was that doubt. Can I find another job? Will everyone else be able to find work? Will I be able to pay all of my bills? Are things going to be okay?

And I'm here to say yes, they will be! I met with my bishop yesterday so he would know what was going on and he asked if he could give me a blessing. I began crying as he told me my Heavenly Father knows how hard I have worked, but then the tears left. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I sat there and knew that there was no time for tears. Now is the time to fight harder! Christ will make up the difference between where I am and where I want to be, but I have to work and get as far as possible on my own.

Then in institute we were talking about trials of faith. As Brother Packer explained the refiner's fire he said, "Silver is pure when the refiner can see his reflection in the silver as it sits in the fire. That's when he knows it is ready. Do you see that through the fires of adversity, Christ is waiting until he can see His image in your countenance?"

And so I'll wait. I'll put myself out there and see what I can find...but in the interim, I will continue to ask. I will continue to knock. And I will continue to receive. I am blessed beyond measure...I just have to trust that the Lord will help me see that.

I'm Legal!

Well everyone, if finally happened! I am officially 21, that magical age where you can buy alcohol (as if that thought has ever entered my head) and have a driver's license that's actually turned the right way. Whoa...I just had one of those moments. You know, the ones where you all of a sudden remember back when you used to think 21 meant you were old...scary stuff man!

So, two years ago my older sister had a baby named Greysen Gene Thinnes. He was born the day before my birthday and is so SO special. I just love him to pieces. This is a picture from his moustache themed birthday party that was held on my birthday. We all had finger staches (as evidenced in the photo below) and it was just cute. Grey's shirt says, "If you really 'moustache', I'm two", which I just find hilarious! I felt pretty lucky to have so many family members gathered together in one place to celebrate Grey's birthday, and also mine kinda...I got my own cupcake with candles in it! It was a great time though, I loved it!

Me, Rache, and Linz

After I got home from the birthday party my roommates and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and ordered appetizers and desserts. We had a great time cheering on the MMA fighter people, who we lovingly dubbed Monkey Fist and Fish Face, even though we were absolutely horrified by the sport. I believe Monkey Fist ended up winning. Fish Face got beat up pretty bad. Poor guy.

Also, the next big thing in my life is coming up this Friday! My mom, dad, and I spent the morning of my birthday picking out a new outfit for my INTERVIEW FOR PHARMACY SCHOOL! It's seriously so surreal...I can't believe it's actually happening. I was actually fairly calm about it until about Sunday. Then I started to get really nervous. That night my home teachers came over and when they asked that age old question, "Is there anything we can do for you?" I found my hand shooting up before I could control it. "I have a pretty stressful week ahead of me, both with the test and my interview. Since my dad isn't here, I would really appreciate it if you gave me a blessing." How lucky I am to have faithful home teachers :) 

And that is where I end this blog post...hopefully I will get around to posting a quick blog about how I think my interview went...and then a few weeks after that there will be a final decision made...EEEK!

Semester Review

So, I have been the worst blogger ever this last semester, but I swear it's for a good reason!

I had the most challenging semester of my college career. I have never been more challenged or stretched in any aspect of my life.

So here is what my schedule looked like:

Human Physiology with Rose
Medical Terminology with Salazar
Biochemistry with Sheridan
Anthropology with Peterson

And below I have pasted my predictions for last semester and written the actual outcome in italics:

Hardest class?:
Human Physiology for sure.
Right on the money. I hate that class and I HATE that I have to continue going to it next semester.

Easiest class?:
Medical Terminology for sure.
Yeah, Medical terminology was a piece of cake. 

Most enjoyable?:
I think I will really like Anthropology actually...Peterson is a lot like Bones and I'm completely enthralled by that show
If I had to pick a most enjoyable class...I would actually probably pick Medical Terminology because I could do it in the comfort of my own home. I enjoyed Anthropology right up until he got to the part of the semester where he talked about marriage and family and how the family is NOT falling apart even though marriages are only lasting 5 years on average...something seems wrong there to me.

Class I will study for the most?:
Human Phys...and then Biochemistry.
Yeah, Physiology more than Biochemistry. Did I mention that class sucked?

Class I will most likely be late for most often?:
Biochemistry on Mondays (that class starts 10 minutes after my Human Phys class gets out on Monday)
False, the class I was most often late for was Human Physiology. Something about 8:00 classes...

So anyway, besides the class from H-E-Double hockey sticks I was also promoted at work again. This year has been nuts at work. I started out as a lowly Developmental Therapist and then I was promoted to billing...then to Psych Testing Coordinator/Chart Specialist...and I am now the Assistant Manager in the Billing Department and Front Office. Never in my life did I ever expect to be working full time AND going to school full time AND being in the Relief Society Presidency AND observing at a pharmacy AND having any sort of a social life (which dwindled, sadly). 

Also, even though this last semester was really really really hard, I am thankful for everything I learned. I now know exactly what hard work is...

Fall Semester Breakdown

I only have one more year of generals before I can apply to pharmacy school!! Oh gosh, it can't come soon enough.

Here is what my schedule looks like:

Human Physiology with Rose
Medical Terminology with Salazar
Biochemistry with Sheridan
Anthropology with Peterson

I know it's only 12 credits, but I am fully expecting a rough semester. Human Physiology is probably one of the harder science classes you can take, and I'm really hoping this will get me noticed on my Pharmacy school application.

Hardest class?:
Human Physiology for sure.

Easiest class?:
Medical Terminology for sure.

Most enjoyable?:
I think I will really like Anthropology actually...Peterson is a lot like Bones and I'm completely enthralled by that show

Class I will study for the most?:
Human Phys...and then Biochemistry.

Class I will most likely be late for most often?:
Biochemistry on Mondays (that class starts 10 minutes after my Human Phys class gets out on Monday)

Bring on the semester!

I love you Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday!

I can't fully explain just how much this woman means to me.
She has taught me just about everything I know (with the exception of the OChem stuff...that's a little foreign to her).
She taught me that if I want something I have to work for it.
She taught me to pick myself up and keep going when I feel like I can't do it anymore.
She taught me about Christ and shows me daily how to be like Him.
She taught me how to love others unconditionally.
She taught me how to laugh when I felt like crying.
She taught me where to go when I am in need of comfort.

And SO much more.
I marvel every day that I was blessed to be her daughter and I will NEVER take that blessing for granted.

Happy birthday Mom!

I love you lots and lots and lots and lots!

Thank you for being my everything :)

I'm still alive!

Hello world! I have been a horribly awful blogger this year...but I am going to try to do better.

Summer has been nutso it seems like and now it's almost over...I just don't know how to handle this haha

Here's a quick rundown of what my life has been like as of late:

I am still working at Seasons of Hope in the billing department. We have undergone a lot of changes in the six months or so that I have been working there. It seems like just when I get a handle on how things work I get yanked into something else. It's a good thing I absolutely love the people I work with or I would have a total mental breakdown...good thing I work at a mental health agency huh?
I just finished my second week at a new position in the department. I am now the Psych Testing Coordinator! (Sounds super prestigious right?) When I was first approached about it I was super skeptical and not very excited because Psych Testing was always the one thing that seemed to baffle me the most, however, I have come to find that it's not completely impossible to figure out and it's pretty cool to share an office with the manager :) This means that I attend meetings almost every day...that is, until school starts up again. Then I'm going to have to learn how to cram 40 hours of work into 30. Oi! Wish me luck!
 Oh, one more thing. Dr. Sommer is quite possibly one of the coolest people on the planet. Somewhere along the road to becoming a Clinical Psychologist he learned to read people REALLY well. Or maybe I'm just super easy to read...that's also a possibility. Anyway, he always seems to know when I'm really stressed and says things that make me feel much much better. Like the other day when he saw me waiting for a meeting to start and he said ratherly loudly, "Emma! We like the Emma. We have even talked about cloning the Emma!" Kinda weird, but it definitely helped relieve some of the bottled up stress I have been feeling as of late.

This summer has just been a learning experience. I started kinda dating a guy in May...ish. We weren't official and then some things happened and I "ran away" from the relationship. Much to my surprise, we went official in June. We had a lot of fun together and I learned a lot from him. He is a computer engineer and even though he really doesn't like biological sciences like I do, he was willing to discuss it with me. It felt nice to have someone to talk to on that kind of level. Gosh knows that hardly ever happens. He is a really great guy, but I guess just not for me. We broke it off a couple of weeks ago (if you couldn't tell by my use of the past tense in most of this paragraph) and it has been a weird transition for me. I've been through all the emotions I can think of, from sadness to anger. I hate that anger stage...but it's so difficult to avoid when you've had time to think over the way things happened. Oh well, in my heart of hearts I know this is for the best, but I still have lots of weak moments that are set off by the most random things and I HATE that the most. It just kinda sneaks up on me. I know in time things will pan out and I will stop avoiding things that remind me of him, but until then I will just continue to grin and bear it when people say things that they think are comforting (that's just the way it always goes right?)

But enough with this depressing stuff right? Yesterday I went to the concert on the quad with my roommates and met up with one of my very best friends. I tried to keep my mind occupied through the opening act...the music just wasn't my style and honestly I couldn't understand most of what the guy was singing. The guitarist was really talented though, I could tell that much! And then *dramatic pause* LINDSEY STIRLING was on! You remember, the hip-hop violinist that was on America's Got Talent? Yes, one and the same. I was in awe the entire time, no joke. Her renditions of The Lord of the Rings, River Flows in You, and Phantom of the Opera were phenomenal!
 I think being a violinist myself made me appreciate it more than some others did. Unless you have tried to make those kinds of movements while playing you just don't get how hard it is. You have to be constantly aware of how much you're moving because if you move too suddenly your bow bounces and you get a horrible scratchy, bumpy, bleh sound. It was just awesome :)

Oh yeah, I was also called as the Second Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency at the start of the summer. It has been a real challenge trying to keep up with everything I am supposed to be doing, but it has also been a blessing. Of course, because the Second Counselor kind of oversees activities, all my dreams of getting away from planning the Relief Society Activities kinda went down the toilet, but it's fine. We played Water Balloon volleyball this week and even though only a few girls showed up, I count it as a success!

Oooo and indexing still rocks! I can never get enough. The Relief Society and Elder's Quorum are having a competition this month to see who can index the most. I keep hearing rumors about how a couple of guys have already indexed over a thousand names. I honestly don't know who will win. It could be really close! I know one other girl in the Relief Society is just about as big into indexing as I am and has set a goal of 2500 names this month. I just passed my goal, but I have a few more days, so I might as well keep going right?

Aaaaanyway this post is way too long and has a complete lack of pictures...I will work on that for next time. Until then, it has been nice to get some of my thoughts recorded somewhere other than my journal. (By the way, I'm still going strong in the whole journal writing thing! I don't remember the exact day, but it's over 1530 :)