Learning to Trust

Well everyone, this last week have been one of the scariest and most exciting of my life.

Last Monday I received a letter in the mail from the College of Pharmacy, stating that I have been provisionally accepted into the Doctor of Pharmacy program on the ISU campus, Pocatello site! I have been working at this for a long time, so you can imagine the excitement that filled my life for days and days after the fact!

The very next Monday (April 1st) at around 9:05 I turned in my $500 seat-holding fee. That's when I realized that this was REALLY happening and I was ACTUALLY going to be a pharmacist. Then, at 9:40 I got a call from my manager and got some terrifying news.

Medicaid terminated our credentialing as an agency without notice, so I was not to go in to work that day and possibly not the next day either. The CEO was going to see what he could do and hopefully we would be up and running again in the morning.

Unfortunately, the call saying that I could go back in to work never came. Instead, it was replaced by an apologetic email from Dr. Sommer saying that with much regret we were going to have to close the doors of Seasons of Hope, a company that I have given my all to for two years.

So yesterday, I went and I cleared out all my personal items from my office...the same office that I never actually got around to organizing. Now I'll never have the chance.

I cried as I grabbed the "Grapes of Hope" trophy that I won last week for our company Appetizer cook-off. It was supposed to be a floating trophy. Someone was supposed to win it next month in the Finger Food cook-off.

I cried harder as a co-worker handed me the painting one of our clients had done. It has always been my favorite, capturing every ounce of personality he has. She had asked for it first, but she told me that I could have it because I had worked with him more. It's now hanging in my living room, right where I will be able to see it every day.

But I cried hardest of all as I drove away from that building for the last time. Hugs were given as well as promises to stay in touch. These people had become my family...teasing me when I forgot to attach a spreadsheet to an email, teasing me when even the slightest edge of criticism wormed its way into an email, and letting me know that my future is bright. They supported me whole-heartedly in everything I did!

I have heard numerous times from others that I was, "going to have to at least cut back hours in the fall anyway". But that's not the point!

The point is that this is NOT the way things should happen! No one should be blind-sided this way. There are over 100 of us out of work now, 100 of us feeling this same empty what-do-I-do-now feeling.

And this is where trust comes in. I have been telling myself since the beginning of this trial that I wasn't going to let myself be defeated, but still somewhere deep down in my gut there was that doubt. Can I find another job? Will everyone else be able to find work? Will I be able to pay all of my bills? Are things going to be okay?

And I'm here to say yes, they will be! I met with my bishop yesterday so he would know what was going on and he asked if he could give me a blessing. I began crying as he told me my Heavenly Father knows how hard I have worked, but then the tears left. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I sat there and knew that there was no time for tears. Now is the time to fight harder! Christ will make up the difference between where I am and where I want to be, but I have to work and get as far as possible on my own.

Then in institute we were talking about trials of faith. As Brother Packer explained the refiner's fire he said, "Silver is pure when the refiner can see his reflection in the silver as it sits in the fire. That's when he knows it is ready. Do you see that through the fires of adversity, Christ is waiting until he can see His image in your countenance?"

And so I'll wait. I'll put myself out there and see what I can find...but in the interim, I will continue to ask. I will continue to knock. And I will continue to receive. I am blessed beyond measure...I just have to trust that the Lord will help me see that.

I'm Legal!

Well everyone, if finally happened! I am officially 21, that magical age where you can buy alcohol (as if that thought has ever entered my head) and have a driver's license that's actually turned the right way. Whoa...I just had one of those moments. You know, the ones where you all of a sudden remember back when you used to think 21 meant you were old...scary stuff man!

So, two years ago my older sister had a baby named Greysen Gene Thinnes. He was born the day before my birthday and is so SO special. I just love him to pieces. This is a picture from his moustache themed birthday party that was held on my birthday. We all had finger staches (as evidenced in the photo below) and it was just cute. Grey's shirt says, "If you really 'moustache', I'm two", which I just find hilarious! I felt pretty lucky to have so many family members gathered together in one place to celebrate Grey's birthday, and also mine kinda...I got my own cupcake with candles in it! It was a great time though, I loved it!

Me, Rache, and Linz

After I got home from the birthday party my roommates and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and ordered appetizers and desserts. We had a great time cheering on the MMA fighter people, who we lovingly dubbed Monkey Fist and Fish Face, even though we were absolutely horrified by the sport. I believe Monkey Fist ended up winning. Fish Face got beat up pretty bad. Poor guy.

Also, the next big thing in my life is coming up this Friday! My mom, dad, and I spent the morning of my birthday picking out a new outfit for my INTERVIEW FOR PHARMACY SCHOOL! It's seriously so surreal...I can't believe it's actually happening. I was actually fairly calm about it until about Sunday. Then I started to get really nervous. That night my home teachers came over and when they asked that age old question, "Is there anything we can do for you?" I found my hand shooting up before I could control it. "I have a pretty stressful week ahead of me, both with the test and my interview. Since my dad isn't here, I would really appreciate it if you gave me a blessing." How lucky I am to have faithful home teachers :) 

And that is where I end this blog post...hopefully I will get around to posting a quick blog about how I think my interview went...and then a few weeks after that there will be a final decision made...EEEK!

Semester Review

So, I have been the worst blogger ever this last semester, but I swear it's for a good reason!

I had the most challenging semester of my college career. I have never been more challenged or stretched in any aspect of my life.

So here is what my schedule looked like:

Human Physiology with Rose
Medical Terminology with Salazar
Biochemistry with Sheridan
Anthropology with Peterson

And below I have pasted my predictions for last semester and written the actual outcome in italics:

Hardest class?:
Human Physiology for sure.
Right on the money. I hate that class and I HATE that I have to continue going to it next semester.

Easiest class?:
Medical Terminology for sure.
Yeah, Medical terminology was a piece of cake. 

Most enjoyable?:
I think I will really like Anthropology actually...Peterson is a lot like Bones and I'm completely enthralled by that show
If I had to pick a most enjoyable class...I would actually probably pick Medical Terminology because I could do it in the comfort of my own home. I enjoyed Anthropology right up until he got to the part of the semester where he talked about marriage and family and how the family is NOT falling apart even though marriages are only lasting 5 years on average...something seems wrong there to me.

Class I will study for the most?:
Human Phys...and then Biochemistry.
Yeah, Physiology more than Biochemistry. Did I mention that class sucked?

Class I will most likely be late for most often?:
Biochemistry on Mondays (that class starts 10 minutes after my Human Phys class gets out on Monday)
False, the class I was most often late for was Human Physiology. Something about 8:00 classes...

So anyway, besides the class from H-E-Double hockey sticks I was also promoted at work again. This year has been nuts at work. I started out as a lowly Developmental Therapist and then I was promoted to billing...then to Psych Testing Coordinator/Chart Specialist...and I am now the Assistant Manager in the Billing Department and Front Office. Never in my life did I ever expect to be working full time AND going to school full time AND being in the Relief Society Presidency AND observing at a pharmacy AND having any sort of a social life (which dwindled, sadly). 

Also, even though this last semester was really really really hard, I am thankful for everything I learned. I now know exactly what hard work is...