As 2013 draws to a close...

I am finding it incredibly hard to believe that this year is almost over. Looking back on everything that has happened, it has definitely been my hardest overall year. A real roller coaster for sure. Here's to hoping 2014 is better!

Also, a side note. I usually use my journals to write these things, but I don't have the one that covers the first few months of the year with me, so events may be sparse...mostly in February and March.

January:

• Brought in the year by myself...in a blanket fort...and I'm fairly certain I fell asleep at like 10:30 haha
• I bought a car! Or, you know, I'm in the process of buying it. It's the first big purchase I've made, but I love that thing :)
• I had a TON of reservations about applying to Pharmacy school. Nerves, I guess.
• Finally finished the cross stitch of Christ I had been working on for years.

February:

• The application deadline for Pharmacy school!
• I turned 21

March:

• Interviewed for a place at ISU's College of Pharmacy
• Got accepted to said College of Pharmacy. Wahoo!

April:

• Was laid off when my company was forced to close its doors.
• Rediscovered my love of reading.
• Welcomed Porter Sheldon Owen to the world on April 5th :)
• And let's face it. April was basically occupied by being depressed about the loss of my job. I found it hard to get out of bed many days. Thankfully that didn't last long.

May:

• Started working at Ed Snell's Pharmacy Shop- the same pharmacy I had been observing at for 2 years
• Called to be the FHE coordinator in my ward.
• Found out that Rachelle was expecting a baby in December!

June:

• Baby sister graduated from high school!
• Was a witness in a court case...which was definitely a new experience. 
• Celebrated Thanksgiving in June! (Cause if there is such a thing as Christmas in July, there should be a Thanksgiving in June, duh)

July:

• Started observation hours at Advanced Isotopes of Idaho (a nuclear pharmacy)
• Also started my community pharmacy hours at Ed Snell's...cause they are awesome like that.
• Lagoon with two of my very best friends!
• And...most of July was filled with sleeping then volunteering then sleeping. 1:30-4:30 in the morning at the Nuke, 9:30-6:30 at Snell's. Sleep in between.

August:

• Began Pharmacy School!
• Finished official observation hours!
• Won a randomly drawn scholarship at White Coat Ceremony :)
• Learned to give flu shots...not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Getting my white coat from Dr. Liday, my advisor.

September:

• Finally got to play floor hockey again!
• My family moved from Soda Springs to Blackfoot. It's nice to have them so much closer to the family!

October:

• Participated in flu shot clinics to get in some experience and hours for school :)
• Began a new cross stitch (Nature's Paradise by Thomas Kinkade).

Here is where I'm currently at on the cross stitch. Over half way done and only been at it for 3 months!

November:

• My stake officially finished indexing 1,000,000 names for the year.
• Gave my first presentation of my pharmacy career.
• Floor hockey again! Wahoo!

December:

• Attended the Forgotten Carols with Sunny, Sarah, Katie, and Amy. It was good to be reunited!
• Finished my first semester of Pharmacy School. Just 7 more to go!    ...eesh
• Baby Samuel Shadrach Owen arrived on the 14th :) So adorable!

I am not going to mince words, 2013 was hard. It beat me down in ways that I have never been before. Don't get me wrong, there were lots of good times. Lots of happy times! But there were so many times that I am just thankful I was able to keep my head above water. 

This year has made me stronger, that's for sure. For that I am grateful, but I can't wait to see what this new year has to offer. 

Happy 2014 everyone!

Learning to Trust

Well everyone, this last week have been one of the scariest and most exciting of my life.

Last Monday I received a letter in the mail from the College of Pharmacy, stating that I have been provisionally accepted into the Doctor of Pharmacy program on the ISU campus, Pocatello site! I have been working at this for a long time, so you can imagine the excitement that filled my life for days and days after the fact!

The very next Monday (April 1st) at around 9:05 I turned in my $500 seat-holding fee. That's when I realized that this was REALLY happening and I was ACTUALLY going to be a pharmacist. Then, at 9:40 I got a call from my manager and got some terrifying news.

Medicaid terminated our credentialing as an agency without notice, so I was not to go in to work that day and possibly not the next day either. The CEO was going to see what he could do and hopefully we would be up and running again in the morning.

Unfortunately, the call saying that I could go back in to work never came. Instead, it was replaced by an apologetic email from Dr. Sommer saying that with much regret we were going to have to close the doors of Seasons of Hope, a company that I have given my all to for two years.

So yesterday, I went and I cleared out all my personal items from my office...the same office that I never actually got around to organizing. Now I'll never have the chance.

I cried as I grabbed the "Grapes of Hope" trophy that I won last week for our company Appetizer cook-off. It was supposed to be a floating trophy. Someone was supposed to win it next month in the Finger Food cook-off.

I cried harder as a co-worker handed me the painting one of our clients had done. It has always been my favorite, capturing every ounce of personality he has. She had asked for it first, but she told me that I could have it because I had worked with him more. It's now hanging in my living room, right where I will be able to see it every day.

But I cried hardest of all as I drove away from that building for the last time. Hugs were given as well as promises to stay in touch. These people had become my family...teasing me when I forgot to attach a spreadsheet to an email, teasing me when even the slightest edge of criticism wormed its way into an email, and letting me know that my future is bright. They supported me whole-heartedly in everything I did!

I have heard numerous times from others that I was, "going to have to at least cut back hours in the fall anyway". But that's not the point!

The point is that this is NOT the way things should happen! No one should be blind-sided this way. There are over 100 of us out of work now, 100 of us feeling this same empty what-do-I-do-now feeling.

And this is where trust comes in. I have been telling myself since the beginning of this trial that I wasn't going to let myself be defeated, but still somewhere deep down in my gut there was that doubt. Can I find another job? Will everyone else be able to find work? Will I be able to pay all of my bills? Are things going to be okay?

And I'm here to say yes, they will be! I met with my bishop yesterday so he would know what was going on and he asked if he could give me a blessing. I began crying as he told me my Heavenly Father knows how hard I have worked, but then the tears left. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I sat there and knew that there was no time for tears. Now is the time to fight harder! Christ will make up the difference between where I am and where I want to be, but I have to work and get as far as possible on my own.

Then in institute we were talking about trials of faith. As Brother Packer explained the refiner's fire he said, "Silver is pure when the refiner can see his reflection in the silver as it sits in the fire. That's when he knows it is ready. Do you see that through the fires of adversity, Christ is waiting until he can see His image in your countenance?"

And so I'll wait. I'll put myself out there and see what I can find...but in the interim, I will continue to ask. I will continue to knock. And I will continue to receive. I am blessed beyond measure...I just have to trust that the Lord will help me see that.

I'm still alive!

Hello world! I have been a horribly awful blogger this year...but I am going to try to do better.

Summer has been nutso it seems like and now it's almost over...I just don't know how to handle this haha

Here's a quick rundown of what my life has been like as of late:

I am still working at Seasons of Hope in the billing department. We have undergone a lot of changes in the six months or so that I have been working there. It seems like just when I get a handle on how things work I get yanked into something else. It's a good thing I absolutely love the people I work with or I would have a total mental breakdown...good thing I work at a mental health agency huh?
I just finished my second week at a new position in the department. I am now the Psych Testing Coordinator! (Sounds super prestigious right?) When I was first approached about it I was super skeptical and not very excited because Psych Testing was always the one thing that seemed to baffle me the most, however, I have come to find that it's not completely impossible to figure out and it's pretty cool to share an office with the manager :) This means that I attend meetings almost every day...that is, until school starts up again. Then I'm going to have to learn how to cram 40 hours of work into 30. Oi! Wish me luck!
 Oh, one more thing. Dr. Sommer is quite possibly one of the coolest people on the planet. Somewhere along the road to becoming a Clinical Psychologist he learned to read people REALLY well. Or maybe I'm just super easy to read...that's also a possibility. Anyway, he always seems to know when I'm really stressed and says things that make me feel much much better. Like the other day when he saw me waiting for a meeting to start and he said ratherly loudly, "Emma! We like the Emma. We have even talked about cloning the Emma!" Kinda weird, but it definitely helped relieve some of the bottled up stress I have been feeling as of late.

This summer has just been a learning experience. I started kinda dating a guy in May...ish. We weren't official and then some things happened and I "ran away" from the relationship. Much to my surprise, we went official in June. We had a lot of fun together and I learned a lot from him. He is a computer engineer and even though he really doesn't like biological sciences like I do, he was willing to discuss it with me. It felt nice to have someone to talk to on that kind of level. Gosh knows that hardly ever happens. He is a really great guy, but I guess just not for me. We broke it off a couple of weeks ago (if you couldn't tell by my use of the past tense in most of this paragraph) and it has been a weird transition for me. I've been through all the emotions I can think of, from sadness to anger. I hate that anger stage...but it's so difficult to avoid when you've had time to think over the way things happened. Oh well, in my heart of hearts I know this is for the best, but I still have lots of weak moments that are set off by the most random things and I HATE that the most. It just kinda sneaks up on me. I know in time things will pan out and I will stop avoiding things that remind me of him, but until then I will just continue to grin and bear it when people say things that they think are comforting (that's just the way it always goes right?)

But enough with this depressing stuff right? Yesterday I went to the concert on the quad with my roommates and met up with one of my very best friends. I tried to keep my mind occupied through the opening act...the music just wasn't my style and honestly I couldn't understand most of what the guy was singing. The guitarist was really talented though, I could tell that much! And then *dramatic pause* LINDSEY STIRLING was on! You remember, the hip-hop violinist that was on America's Got Talent? Yes, one and the same. I was in awe the entire time, no joke. Her renditions of The Lord of the Rings, River Flows in You, and Phantom of the Opera were phenomenal!
 I think being a violinist myself made me appreciate it more than some others did. Unless you have tried to make those kinds of movements while playing you just don't get how hard it is. You have to be constantly aware of how much you're moving because if you move too suddenly your bow bounces and you get a horrible scratchy, bumpy, bleh sound. It was just awesome :)

Oh yeah, I was also called as the Second Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency at the start of the summer. It has been a real challenge trying to keep up with everything I am supposed to be doing, but it has also been a blessing. Of course, because the Second Counselor kind of oversees activities, all my dreams of getting away from planning the Relief Society Activities kinda went down the toilet, but it's fine. We played Water Balloon volleyball this week and even though only a few girls showed up, I count it as a success!

Oooo and indexing still rocks! I can never get enough. The Relief Society and Elder's Quorum are having a competition this month to see who can index the most. I keep hearing rumors about how a couple of guys have already indexed over a thousand names. I honestly don't know who will win. It could be really close! I know one other girl in the Relief Society is just about as big into indexing as I am and has set a goal of 2500 names this month. I just passed my goal, but I have a few more days, so I might as well keep going right?

Aaaaanyway this post is way too long and has a complete lack of pictures...I will work on that for next time. Until then, it has been nice to get some of my thoughts recorded somewhere other than my journal. (By the way, I'm still going strong in the whole journal writing thing! I don't remember the exact day, but it's over 1530 :)

I got promoted and it feels so good!

Okay, so today was a new experience for me.
I walked away from my job as a Developmental Therapist for maybe the last time ever.

Don't you worry your pretty little minds, I have another job waiting for me, so it's not like I'm just going to sit around doing nothing.

On Tuesday I was approached about a promotion. I was extremely excited because I have been barely getting by on my paycheck, but then I heard these words, "We are looking to give you about 35 hours a week."

Oof.

I was fairly positive that there was NO WAY in the sam heck I was going to be able to squeeze in 35 hours to my already nightmare-ish schedule. I thought that this promotion was going to be...well, not happening.

Then the next day I was told that only 30 hours were required and my dreams opened up again. But then I got to thinking about the time I sat down to see if I could fit 30 hours into my schedule to be promoted to a DT2 and it just wasn't possible and I started thinking that this was still a little far fetched to be thinking about.

That night I sat down in front of an Excel spreadsheet and worked out my schedule. Don't ask me how, but 30 hours just opened up. I remember counting and recounting the hours for the other promotion...so how in the world was it working out now?

The answer is, I don't know. I am just thinking that this promotion is what I should be pursuing (even though it's still not what I want to do with the rest of my life).

So as of Monday I will be on the run from 8:00 in the morning to 8:00 in the evening as a Billing Assistant followed by studying...

I just might die.

Pray for me!

Happy 1 year anniversary!

Seasons of Hope and I have officially been together for one year!

Man, it's been a whirlwind of a year....

It's been marked with some definite downers, but I have enjoyed if for the most part.

My Week of Miracles

This week has been such an eye opener to me.
On Monday in Institute we were talking about all the miracles that Jesus performed and how most people in our day and time write off our everyday miracles as coincidences.
I guess God just wanted to illustrate to me that we are surrounded by miracles every day, so He filled my week with TONS of miracles.

Last week: My OChem teacher announced that instead of having our test on Thursday, it would be on Friday instead. That opened up a whole bunch of problems. I had to work on Friday because...well, I always work on Friday. I made arrangements to take my test from 8-12 in the morning on Friday because that was the only possible time for me to do so.

Monday: I opened up my work schedule and noticed right off the bat that I was scheduled to work during my test review session. GREAT right? I would see to that later.
While at work my client's mother informed me that they would be going out of town on Friday and Saturday.
My first thought was about how over half of my hours for the week were scheduled that client on Friday and Saturday. There is NO way I would have been able to get by with that few hours.
After taking a couple of seconds to process what was going on I realized something else: This is my off week for A&P lab, which means I could work on Tuesday (Miracle!)
Together we were able to figure out a schedule that cut only 1.5 hours instead of the 8 or so that it was originally. (Miracle!)
Also, this meant that I could take my test at the regularly scheduled time instead of at 8 in the morning. (Miracle!)

Tuesday: My OChem lab instructor extended my lab an hour, so it started at 8 instead of 9. He lectured on NMR for an hour and when my lab group was supposed to leave to do a Spartan lab experiment (my lab is split into three lab groups. Every week there are 3 labs going on, so this was my week for the Spartan computer experiment), he gave us the option of staying and doing the computer experiment on our own time so he could help us with NMR interpretation. (Miracle!)

Wednesday: My client was supposed to go to see a specialist for an hour, but my client's grandma was in town for Grandparent's Night and was going to take him to dinner. That hour was cancelled, and I got to pick it up! (Miracle!)
I talked to the Front Office and Seasons of Hope and they were able to find two people to cover a couple of hours with my client so I could go to the class that I was originally scheduled to work during. Their schedule had changed just enough to accommodate my hours. (Miracle!)

Thursday: Commence freaking out...OChem test on NMR tomorrow.
After I got out of my 8 o'clock Institute class I went to do my Spartan experiment. My instructor asked me how my test went, so I told him it wasn't until tomorrow. He looked at me and told me to go home and study and do the Spartan on Monday. (Miracle!)

Friday: Hasn't happened yet, but hopefully another miracle will happen and I will magically get an A on my NMR interpretation :)


I know that most of these things might seem like coincidences, but I am a big believer that God is behind every coincidence. I've had FAR too many of them happen to me in my life (and especially just in this week) to believe that it just happened to turn out that way.

"...this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.” 
~Paulo Coelho

There is DEFINITELY someone out there who loves me and wants me to succeed in my endeavors.

Crazy Life!

Is it just me or has life spun COMPLETELY out of control lately?

I was sitting in Organic Chemistry the other day interpreting IR and NMR spectra and I realized just how NUTS it was that I understood what was going on...or that I am even in that class. I remember when Nate was telling me how hard OChem was, and now I'm actually living it.

Another one of these moments came on Tuesday when I was holding onto the edge of a table trying to keep my composure as my A&P Lab TA poked and prodded a cadaver. It was definitely in the top 10 nastiest things I've ever experienced, but I thought I did very well. I fought a headache and a constant gag reflex, but I actually TOUCHED a cadaver. *hold for applause*

I'm constantly reminded of how much life changes every time I go to work. I started working at Seasons of Hope in January, where I there were 21 DT's. I was the newest and youngest there. Now I'm one of the oldies in the company...like seriously I'm 4 or 5 in seniority haha.

Oh, and Greysen is getting so BIG!:

Is everyone else aware that Rebecca is due in less than a week??:

This is a hat that my mom made for Hyrum.

She also made a pumpkin and a BSU hat.

Oh, and I'm a sophomore in COLLEGE. I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one. College is such an old word...and I'm clearly not, as all of my friends are quick to point out.

Sorry mom, I'll try to take more time out of my nutso schedule to update my blog so you know what I'm up to :)

This is what I live for!

I had an amazing experience at work today!

I carried on a conversation with a nonverbal child!!!

Yes, NONVERBAL.


This conversation consisted of signs and words. (He mostly signs, but he did say one word).

It was amazing seeing that he really knew and understood what we were saying to each other.


I was so close to tears...and it makes me smile just thinking about it :)

This is what I live for and what I love doing!
Absolutely amazing.

Thursday Thoughts

These are just a few of the thoughts that have run through my mind today:

"I hate that I have to wear these safety glasses for work."

"I hope nobody notices these safety glasses."

"I'll bet I look like an idiot in these safety glasses."

"Crap, I guess they're a little more noticeable than I thought."

Me in those safety glasses

"Today is Thursday. That means tomorrow is Friday and therefore payday!"

"Tomorrow is Friday. That means the next day is Saturday and I get to go to Star Valley!"

"This kid is so friggin' cute!"

"I love my job!"

"What am I going to do for dinner tonight...?"

"The Work and the Glory=thebomb.com

"Would I put him in a dunk tank? No, I like that guy. I wouldn't purposely make him go in a dunk tank. Wait, he made a snide comment about my safety glasses...I changed my mind, he can go in the dunk tank."

I hope you enjoyed the look into my day! (Most of today was worrying about safety glasses that I only had to wear for two hours in case you didn't notice)

Also, most of it had to do with work...

The DT Diaries

I had a rough week at work...literally:

I got scratched all the way down my face yesterday.

It stung for quite awhile, but it didn't startle me too badly.

Nothing could after this:

It doesn't even look bad, but those marks by my eye occurred while I was driving.

Let's just say I was dealing with a very disgruntled client.

Good news though! The scratch takes focus off of this stinkin' indian burn/bruise!

I'm a DT...

It's an occupational hazard!

Basically, this is my life

I feel like I have been very adequately named.
Wanna know why?
Well, I'm gonna tell you even if you don't!

My life can most definitely be a dilEMMA!

(I feel like I should mention that I haven't seen this movie)

And I also feel like this song describes my life most of the time, which STINKS!

I guess it's gonna have to hurt

I guess I'm gonna have to cry

And let go of some things I loved

To get to the other side.

I guess it's gonna break me down

Like fallin' when you're tryin' to fly

It's sad but sometimes moving on 

With the rest of your life

Starts with goodbye

However!

I have made a commitment to myself to be happy.

So no matter how bad things get or how much I wanna quit

and run home to my mommy...

I'm gonna be happy.

See past the bad things and focus on the good.

I'm gonna get through this...

1. I have an amazing Heavenly Father.

2. I have an amazing religion.

3. I have amazing roommates.

4. I have an amazing family who sticks by me no matter what.

5. I have an amazing job with amazing kids who teach me more and more and MORE every day.

6. Jeff let me have first dibs on his Reed's Dairy Chocolate Milk

7. Ryan left me half a chocolate bar on my bed (where the other half went I could only guess)

8. Mystie left me a letter on my bed that made my day.

9. Megan made me laugh at myself for toasting a corn dog on the toaster.

10. I got to walk home in the middle of a rainstorm.

Life.

is.

good.

The Start of Something New

This new semester is bringing a lot of new challenges for me.

Last semester I had a lot of difficult classes, but no job.
This semester I lowered my class difficulty and load and took on a job.
I'm thrilled to no end that I have income again, don't get me wrong....
I just didn't realize it would be so difficult to get back into the swing of things.

I started my new job as a developmental therapist at Seasons of Hope on January 5th.
For those of you who don't remember, I was a developmental therapist for a year and a half
before leaving to come to Pocatello.
I figured that I would remember everything and jump right in.
WRONG!
I should have known that it would be lots different, DUH.

It's not all bad though. The kids here are every bit as adorable as those in Soda.
I have a boss that is very well trained in what he does
and coworkers that are willing to help me out...

Maybe I just miss having lots of time after class to take naps...
And sleep in... (I had to be at work by 8 in the morning)
Anyway, I should really stop complaining about it because this is a seriously amazing opportunity.
I'm sure I will grow to love it as much as I loved GEO. :)

Oh, and sorry for the total lack of pictures.
My New Year's Resolution to take more pictures this year isn't going so great...