Why is he my hero?

So, in my last post I expressed that Michael McLean was my hero, so now I figure that I will explain why.

On Sunday March 14, 2010 Michael McLean came to Soda Springs to speak at a fireside.
Maci and I went half an hour early to be sure to get a good seat :)
I don't remember much about the actual fireside except for one thing.
Let me remind you that I had been broken up with a little more than a month before...
This is what he said.
"I'm going to go off on a tangent here for just a second because I feel like this needs to be said. Someone here came with an exceptionally large burden. I don't know what it is, if you're feeling inadequate or heartbreak or what, but this song is for you." 
He then sang Ninety and Nine, which is my favorite song by him.
Then he came to this part:

You are one of the Ninety and Nine

Have you any idea how brightly you shine?

You are safe in the arms of the fold 

And it's time you were told 

That I know where you've been

So I know where you'll be

Because all of your life you've been following me

You are more than just one of the sands of the sea

Or just one of the ninety and nine

You are mine!

I know that these words could apply to so many people in so many situations, but at that moment he was speaking to me.

It was certainly what I needed to hear at that moment :)

Just exactly what I needed!

It's no secret that for the last little while I've been caught in something of a FUNK!


I hated school,
    I hated being in Pocatello,
        I wasn't too pleased with how work was going,
             I was getting bugged by things that normally wouldn't bug me and,
                 I felt like I had let some people down in a big way, which made me disappointed in myself.

In other words, that ecstatic feeling I had just a couple of weeks ago was GONE-ZO!

...All I can say is thank goodness I have a Heavenly Father who loves me.
...He cares for me and even when I am at my weakest I am upheld by his righteous omnipotent hand.
...And I know that Jesus has felt these exact feelings, so he knew exactly how to succor me.

I went home this weekend for two things.
1) Conference
2) I really needed a hug from my mommy.

Before I made it out of town I made a stop.
I went to DI first to look for a tape player for Mystie (hers was eating her tapes).
  While I was there I decided to look at the books and see if there was anything worthwhile.
     That's when I saw it...
         Hold On: The Light Will Come, a book by none other than my hero, Michael McLean.
         I had never even heard of it before, but I knew I had to have it.

Here are a couple of quotes from the book:

"Somewhere between holding on and letting go, between love lost and love found, between promises made and promises kept, between those who build us up and those who let us down, our lives are lived and our lessons are learned."

"I've had the extraordinary blessing of getting not what I thought I wanted, but what I need." (This was followed by a little bit of a song he wrote):

All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of,

Everything I hoped, and all the things I prayed for

Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given,

I've been given what I need.

You're Not Alone:

You're not alone, even though right now you're on your own.

You are loved in ways that can't be shown,

Your needs are known

You're not alone.

...Well, I know that it's not easy, but I know that it won't last,

'Cause one who loves you more than me

Is sending blessings fast

...And even when it's hard to find the words,

Your prayers are always heard.

You're not alone.

"Who are you doing this for?"

"And on the days when being good didn't come as naturally as I would have liked, I didn't need to obsess over the failures, but rather than get back on track and keep moving forward."

"If you're good, and you're doing what you're doing for somebody else, you won't fail."

"...that doesn't change my passionate belief that God knows us, and loves us, and has a plan remarkably tailored to help us figure out how to live happily."

"...my happiest moments...come when I've acknowledged Him."

I was already feeling a little better after reading these words...but then it was time for conference.

Elder Kent F. Richards of the Seventy spoke about pain in the Saturday Morning session.

He said that pain was a gage of your patience...

   That Christ is not a silent observer in our lives...

       That Christ chose to suffer pain so that He could understand us...

            That healing comes in many ways-each according to our individual needs...

               That our circumstances might not immediately change,

               But we will be encircled by the arms of His love.

Then he said this:

"Behold, ye are all little children and ye cannot bear all things now. But fear not, ye are mine."

It took all of that to finally make me realize that I was being pretty stupid.

I realized that I hadn't really let anyone down...the situation was out of my control.

I realized that I was hating Pocatello because I just needed a hug from my mom.

I realized that I am hating school not because I have years to go, but because my classes are just legitimately boring right now.

I realized that I should be working for the kids and not for me.

And I once again realized Heavenly Father's love for me. In a very VERY strong way.

Needless to say...my happy is back :D

Blessing number 30

The Forgotten Carols


A few days ago Brendan told me that he had a couple of tickets to The Forgotten Carols that he couldn't use because he had to work. He then told me he would give them to me on one condition: I take a date.

Well, I got a date rounded up and at 4:00 we headed to Idaho Falls to pick up the tickets from Brendan.
We had to be seated by 6:45 and we were there really early, so we went to the mall first to do a little Christmas shopping. Anyway, that part of the story is boring....on to the good stuff!

The first thing you see when the play starts is a bunch of contentious people walking across the stage. Then Michael McLean walks across and starts playing the sweetest melody you have ever heard on a V-shaped flute instrument...thing. I don't know what it is. It was absolutely gorgeous and left me breathless and speechless from the opening notes.

For those of you who don't know, The Forgotten Carols is about an old man who hires a nurse to come help him over the Christmas holiday. She is a little bit of a Scrooge because of things that happened in her past, but this man helps change her demeanor. He tells her that he is nearly 2000 years old and that he was there when Christ was born. The Forgotten Carols are the carols of the lesser thought of characters in the Christmas story.

My favorite song is The Innkeeper. Michael McLean perfectly captured the sorrow of the innkeeper who turned Joseph and Mary away. When the choir comes in with a nice strong, "Let Him in! Let Him in!" It's almost enough to bring you to tears. I think this is the perfect way to convey to us to let the Savior into our hearts.

When the play was over Ryan and I were waiting in line to meet Michael McLean, then Ryan pulled out a copy of the book for me to have signed. It was a total surprise!

My book!

See that signature in the top left? Yeah, that's MICHAEL MCLEAN'S!!!

I am grateful for the Savior and all He's done for me.

He has had the biggest impact on my life and 

I'm grateful that the Forgotten Carols could help 

me focus on those things.

This month I have learned a lot through this Attitude of Gratitude.

I have learned to love the simply things 

and to always be grateful for them.

But the biggest thing I learned is....

I'm not done yet!

Keep checking back for more blessings!